Nano success! Blogging fail.

With about a week and a half left in November, I completely lost steam on my novel. I was sitting at a pretty 16k with much left to tell but no motivation to tell it.I had pretty much given up.

As a writer, you grow very attached to your characters and their lives. They become a part of you and they're all you think about... almost like children. You want them to be happy and successful. Then there's this realization that their happiness and success is the same as your happiness and success and that is entirely in your hands. It's frightening.

This sounds crazy, but I am afraid to complete a novel. The writing part, I can handle. But what comes next when the story is all told? Here I sat staring at a massive word document telling Abby Drake's story and those familiar feelings from years past started to creep up on me. What was I doing? Why was I wasting my time? What if no one else liked this? What if I failed Abby and in turn myself?

Then, one of my very best friends told me she wanted to and would read it, even if no one else did. And another very close friend took me aside and I don't think he knows it, but he reminded me that I was doing this for me, and I could do it, no matter what anyone else said or thought. Brittany and Kenny, thank you.

I still haven't completed my story, but I somehow managed to overcome the time and space continuum in the last 48 hours of Nanowrimo and finished the month with 52,000 words. Those last two days I cranked out around 36,000 words of nonsense (with a lot of cheering from a great group of women) to cross the finish line. I can neither confirm nor deny whether dirty plot tricks were used or not. My fourth Nano success!

I actually opened up yWriter this morning and flipped through a couple of the later chapters. No, they're by no means perfect, but I wrote them. And that, my friends, is a great feeling.

I don't know what I have planned for this blog. Perhaps as I work towards a final product I'll continue to update on the progress. My friends in my writer's groups do blog tours, book reviews, guest authors. Maybe I'll jump on that bandwagon.

But you already said that ...

Do you ever read a book and suddenly think, "Wow! This is redundant?"

That's kind of how I'm feeling right now. I used several flashbacks to give the reader insight in to Jay and Abby's relationship early on in the first chapter, but then it became necessary to clue in Abby's best friend Caleb on her history with Jay. Sure, I could've just said she explained it to him, but that's counter productive to my goal of 50,000 words. I think I know where I'm going to start editing should I have finish this crap.

I'm starting to lose faith... wishing I would've rewritten another project.

" So here I am, married to him, still pinning for Jay and no real idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life any more. " Abby sighed, tears threatening to spill down her rosie cheeks.

" Hey now, none of that, " Caleb reached up, wiping her eyes gently, " We'll figure something out, eh? You're amazing, Abby. "

She smiled at him, laying her head on his shoulder, " Thanks, Caleb. I don't know what I'd do without you. "

" Or I you, beautiful. Or I you. "

Still Plugging Along

No, no, I haven't given up just yet. According to NaNo stats if I write around 3000 words a day from now until November 30 I'll finish right on time. That's still within my personal realm of possibility, if I could just focus.

Every once in awhile my anxiety sneaks up on me and I wonder why I'm even bothering to write. It's not that good anyway. Who would ever want to read this piece of crap? A writer is her own worst enemy.

I have to remember that I'm doing this for me, because I love to do it, and so what if no one else ever reads it? At least I can say I finally finished a book. Once I finish the first one, the next one will be easier, and maybe the one after that will be a big hit.

I'm almost through the first chapter with two more scenes to go. I wrote a break up flashback the other day and cried the whole way through it. If I can feel it, then the reader can feel it too.

She chuckled despite herself, " yes, actually, yes i do. Jay, I love you. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I mean that, sincerely from the very bottom of my heart. "

" I know you do, baby. Believe me, I hate this so fucking much, but it has to be this way. Some day it'll make sense. I promise. " jay leaned over and kissed her forehead tenderly, tangling his fingers in her hair, pulling her head tight against his chest. Abby allowed him to hold her as she cried, absorbing his words. " please don't cry, honey. I'm so sorry, Abby. I really truly am. "

" Are you ok? " she asked suddenly. None of this made sense to her. He hasn't given her a real reason for leaving, for breaking her heart.

Jay smiled at her weakly, “ Of course, my darling. “

“ I don’t believe you. “ He kissed her forehead again.
“ I know … but that’s the only answer you’re going to get from me right now. “
Staring in to her eyes, he stroked her cheek gently. “ Please tell me I haven’t lost you forever. “

Abby wanted to scream at him, tell him of course he’d lost her; he crushed her heart and soul, but there was something in the way he looked at her with complete desperation that stopped her. It pained her to know that he was keeping a secret from her, especially one that kept them apart. She could tell that he needed her now more than ever, and no, of course he hadn’t lost her. Abandoning him was not an option.

“ I’m here. I’ll always, always be here, Jay. “

Sighting deeply, he kissed the tip of her nose, “ That’s my girl. “

Day 8: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!

Yesterday was my first day off in 6. I had grand intentions of writing thousands upon thousand of words and catching up. I managed to eek out just under 2k with some help from fellow writers. I seem to be most productive with I'm doing words wars. I hate to lose.


My grand total after yesterday is 4,116. If I write for 6 hours today with a minimum of 2k words per hour, I should be caught up and then some. I totally got this.


Abby yawned, fumbling with the button on her skirt. She was exhausted and her fine motor skills were lacking. " Here, let me. " Lucas whispered in her ear. With one hand, he coaxed the button through the hole allowing her skirt to fall to the ground. Carefully so as not to snag them, she stepped out of her panty hose, laying them and the skirt on top of the dresser. " Those are my favorite panties, you know. " He put his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them. Abby could feel him growing hard against the small of her back. She wanted nothing more than to pull away and escape. After spending the last ten hours of her life around inconsiderate and rude people, the last thing she wanted to do was have sex.

" Oh? And why is that? " she asked, turning to look him in the eye.

" Because, they're red and lace and it's a thong."

Abby laughed and rolled her eyes at him, bending over to grab her black yoga pants from the floor in the exact same place she had left them this morning. " No, " he stopped her, " Not yet. "

" Come on, Lucas. I'm tired and really not in the mood. "

" A woman doesn't wear a thong like that if she doesn't want some. " He grabbed her, pulling her close.

" Unless she hasn't done laundry in a week and it's the only clean pair she has left." Lucas laughed at her, nipping at her neck gently.

" Don't fight me, Abby. You know you'll enjoy it. " He pressed his lips to hers before she could argue again, his erection growing firmer against her. Reluctantly, she returned the kiss, staring at his face with irritation while he enjoyed the contact. Lucas pulled back, looking her in the eye, " What? "

" I really just need to relax for a bit, alright? I haven't eaten today and my body aches. " She tried again to put her yoga pants on.

" What better way to cure body aches than releasing natural endorphones? " His fingers trailed down her back sending shivers down her spine. A smug look crossed his face as he leaned in and kissed the sweet spot just behind her ear. Abby sighed and melted against him. She knew she wasn't going to win this battle, so instead of resisting farther she tugged her tank top over her head, it falling forgotten to the floor.

Day 4 and 5: So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song!

The last two days have consisted of absolutely no writing. Work has been crazy and I've gone home completely exhausted. I thought about trying to muddle throw some scenes last night, but when I'm incoherent, it's a waste of time.


I sat down to try and write just now, but for some reason I cannot get Party In The USA out of my head. Perhaps it's a sign I need to incorporate it in to a scene at some point. However, the lyrics running through my head is making it impossible to work on what I had intended.


Lyrics, however, are a great way to pad that word count ever so sightly. I've decided to pick a lyrics that sums up each chapter and use it in the header. That's one thing accomplished, right?


So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song, the butterflies fly away. Noddin' my head like, yeah, movin' my hips like yeah!


Shout out to my sister Jen! Every time I hear this song I think of you and smile. Miss you!

Also- Yay Twin Cities!

Day 3: I'm still doing this thing, aren't I?

I know. I know. It's a little early to get discouraged. My word count for today is pathetic and I have no real intention of adding to it before I crash tonight. I'm tired and oh so very crabby. I tried channeling that anger and frustration in to a scene later in the book where Abby and her husband get in to a huge fight over Jay, but that was unsuccessful.

Instead, I'm going to take this opportunity to talk a little bit more about NaNoWriMo and why it's such an important cause to me.

I've always had a wild and vivid imagination. I remember being very young, probably six or seven, and pretending I was April O'Neil running around my house with the Ninja Turtles. There was a time period where I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and my mini poodle, Puddles, was the perfect Todo. Recess in elementary school often meant my friends and I fighting off Puddies as the Power Rangers. I was the pink one, of course.

Every year in elementary school, each student participated in the Young Author's program. It was through this opportunity that I really developed my love for writing; taking these fantasies constantly playing in my head and sharing them with the world. Where most kids outgrow their desire to role play and pretend, I reveled and thrived in it. Being able to escape in to my own mind, my own world was fun enough, but to be able to share it with others and allow them to see what I was seeing? Amazing. I can think of few things better than holding a new book in your hands and getting lost in an alternate reality. It's been my savior.


I don't know how many schools, if any, still run the Young Author's program. With the hard economic times, it seems these types of things fall through the cracks. Communication through the written word is slowly disappearing, degrading even with the growth of technology and social media. Why read a book when you can just watch the movie? And really, who writes letters anymore? Send a text! It's faster and you don't have to spell anything correctly.


The Office of Letters and Lights, a small nonprofit organization based in Oakland, CA, seeks to foster and cultivate literacy across the globe. NaNoWriMo was founded in 1999 by freelance author Chris Baty with only 140 participants. Since then it has grown to over 250,000 writers world wide pouring their heart and souls into their 50,000+ word stories every November.


While it's all fun and games (well maybe not all) for the writers, it's also the OLL's biggest fundraising push of the year. Most of the writers donate to the cause. Two years ago in the Twin Cities, we had a book sale to raise funds. Some writers even have sponsorship pages for supporters to donate to them. These funds go towards supporting classrooms, libraries, and independent bookstores in your communities as well as OLL sponsored Camp NaNoWriMo and NaNoWriMo's Young Author's.


This post is longer than I intended for it to be, but hopefully that says to you how excited I am to fund-raise for, donate to, and support the OLL. They're a great group of people working for a very worthy cause. If you want to chat more about the OLL, NaNoWriMo, or would like to donate to the cause, shoot me an email. This sleep deprived girl is ready for bed. If you stuck with my incoherent rambling this long, Thank you.

It's never too early to panic!

I will break 1,000 words; I will break 1,000 words; I will break 1,000 words.


I was able to get around 300 more words done at work today bringing my total to 626. I'm behind... way behind. But it's not time to panic yet. It's only the second day. There will be plenty of time to panic later. Right?


Tonight I've been working on my first major flashback scene that gives a bit of history to the relationship between Abby and Jay. I struggled with how to present this relationship to the reader all through the planning process. Jay, both the person and his history with Abby, is essentially the driving plot in this novel. However, Jay the person will not be making a face to face appearance with Abby in this world. He'll be visiting in dreams, memories, maybe a ghostly vision.


Oooh, have I said too much? Rather than bore the reader with big info dumps in prologue or whatever form, I think well timed flashbacks will provide the insight necessary to understand how important Jay was to Abby and why she's going to the lengths she is to clear his name. Clear his name of what? Well, I haven't figured that part out yet =)


I'm having difficulty controlling my inner editor tonight. I have to keep reminding myself that the purpose of this month is to simply get it on paper. Nothing else matters. Stop rereading. Ignore the grammar mistakes and awkwardly worded sentences. Just keep writing.

Day 1:Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

It's here! It's here! It's finally here! November 1, the day I've been eagerly awaiting. Since I had to be to work at 530am, I didn't get the usual running start at midnight I have in previous years. Bummer! Then there's the whole work thing getting in the way. I still found time to squeak some words though... on my iphone. Yep, I sat in the gate area waiting for planes to come in furiously typing away n my notepad. I was quite pleased with the progress I made. Of course, it looked like more words than what it really was when I plugged it in to my word processor... 326...

Well, crap. That is underwhelming considering I should be at 1,667 by the end of today. So, here I sit, watching Vampire Diaries hoping to do some sprints during the commercials.

In usual Nano style, I'm behind. Oy.

"-Hey, Abby. Are you free? I miss you. Call me ASAP - Jay Her heart skipped a beat or twelve, a smile slowly creeping across her lips."

Who is Jay and why does he make Abby giddy?? Stay tuned!

Ready or Not, Here I Come

Well, here we are, t-8 hours until November 1. I'm beyond excited to begin this year's project. I've spent days mapping out my storyline, which is something I've never done before. It remains to be seen if this'll work to my advantage or not. But my characters have real names instead of MainFemale and Antagonist1 and my chapters have a basic structure. That's an accomplishment in itself.


I made the mistake of picking up a morning shift at work tomorrow though, which means no kickoff party tonight and no running start on my word count. In the past I've been able to crank out 3-5,000 words those first few hours. I'm a little nervous that I'll end up behind. I'm working every day for the next six; and thanks to hurricane Sandy, I'm anticipating those six days to be incredibly rough. 1,667 words a day. That's all I need. I can do that.


Good luck to all my fellow Nanoers out there. May the odds be ever in your favor ;)

Hurray Plot Bunnies!

Greetings, friends! Yes, it's that time of year again... time for me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard rather) and embark on an epic 50,000+ word journey through the darkest corners of my imagination.

Ok. I can see many of you are still completely lost. November is National Novel Writing Month, fondly referred to as Nanowrimo. Every November for the last four years I have sat down with thousands of people across the globe and attempted to write a 50,000 word novel between November 1 and November 30.

That's 1,667 words every day for the entire month of November. No problem, right? Wrong!

It always starts out fine, until my characters develop a mind of their own and fall in love. Oh, and there was the one year where my main character died halfway through the story, effectively halting any progress. Yeah, that one took me by surprise.

I have managed to meet the 50,000 word goal 3 out of 4 times, but never actually completed a book within that 50,000 words. This year is different.

What's different about this year? I'm going in with a plot, several actually, that I'll somehow figure out how to meld together in a coherent manner. What else is different? I've done some story mapping! I have some idea who my characters are and where I want them to end up.

Bring it on, November! I cannot wait to reign victorious again!